Wristwatch (edit3)

[brynmawr1]

Hi Duke,

I like the edits.  Only one suggestion for the end, might give you that ambiguity you are looking for.
bryn

Hate to be defensive, but

the idea of "caught *up*" was ambiguity between being lifted into a spider's clutches and being caught up (by catching up) with one's time-bound world again; just "caught" seems sort of one-dimensional in comparison.

Nevertheless I'll think it over, especially if others agree.  Thanks!

Hi Duke,
I don't think you are being defensive by explaining your thinking.  I would say two things.  First, 'caught' is caught so the 'up' seemed redundant, to me.  The second is that the 'up', for me, pushes the caught more towards the web rather than leaving it sort of 'equal' between the watch(time) and the narrator.  Either way it's a very nice poem!
Take care,
bryn