Open Field - Edit 1

[Lizzie]

Hi, Wjames. The new version is much improved. For me, the title is too static -- you'd do well to have something with a little action. Especially on a forum like this where people scan titles to see what jumps out at them (and maybe they only have a few minutes), it's important to consider how eye-catching your title is (without being completely absurd, of course). 

White pasture lambs
lie with closed eyes
in damp morning grass,
breathing fresh spring
and budding flower. -- Makes me wonder if they smell flowers the way we do or if their sense of smell is fully developed at birth. Perhaps this is an anthropomorphism? If you know a lot about sheep, I retract. 

They rise without finesse, -- the understatement makes this funny
tottering towards the shepherd -- tottering is the perfect verb
with legs wide apart, -- referencing back to the title
navigating the earth 
with care.

I find it a bit too serene -- you could hint at danger toward the end to contrast with the idyllic beginning. Then again, leaving it pristine has it's charm.