Where did you sleep last night?
#3
(12-05-2023, 08:37 AM)hestavi Wrote:  Between the sheets there is a scent of a different love.
Soft lip and molten tongue. You caress my ample waist    lips?
without a grimace. Kiss with misplaced passion
and mint breath, perhaps to fog a memory of a lover?  

You fold linen and launder clothes with the zeal
of a bribing child. You scurry in the kitchen 
and lather eggs onto a plate, yellow and unctuous. 
Yesterday’s dinner sits cold on the counter.

The lines between your relentless texts sidle 
into confessions.  Words gather like foam
over tepid coffee. I wonder if this love will ever slither
out of its cellophane skin?

This mirage buries the question for a different day.
Welcome Hestavi,

I mostly played around with changing your line order/line breaks a bit and suggested cuts that would make the poem more directed, at least for me.  All of course is just my opinion.  

TqB
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Messages In This Thread
Where did you sleep last night? - by hestavi - 12-05-2023, 08:37 AM
RE: Where did you sleep last night? - by rowens - 12-05-2023, 12:47 PM
RE: Where did you sleep last night? - by TranquillityBase - 12-05-2023, 11:34 PM
RE: Where did you sleep last night? - by Pike - 12-06-2023, 08:56 AM



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