12-05-2023, 11:34 PM
(12-05-2023, 08:37 AM)hestavi Wrote: Between the sheets there is a scent of a different love.Welcome Hestavi,
Soft lip and molten tongue. You caress my ample waist lips?
without a grimace. Kiss with misplaced passion
and mint breath, perhaps to fog a memory of a lover?
You fold linen and launder clothes with the zeal
of a bribing child. You scurry in the kitchen
and lather eggs onto a plate, yellow and unctuous.
Yesterday’s dinner sits cold on the counter.
The lines between your relentless texts sidle
into confessions. Words gather like foam
over tepid coffee. I wonder if this love will ever slither
out of its cellophane skin?
This mirage buries the question for a different day.
I mostly played around with changing your line order/line breaks a bit and suggested cuts that would make the poem more directed, at least for me. All of course is just my opinion.
TqB

