two gloves
#2
(09-16-2024, 09:56 PM)Mark A Becker Wrote:  in memory

I hope, in memory of me,
you’ll see a cloudless evening,
us standing out back
on a cool green patch of grass,
just playing catch.
Hi Mark,
Nice piece.  Though I hope it isn't foreshadowing!  I need you to stick around or my poems will just get longer and longer!
One small suggestion would be to make "In Memory of Me" the title and just shift the phrasing accordingly.  
Thanks for the read,
steve
Reply


Messages In This Thread
two gloves - by Mark A Becker - 09-16-2024, 09:56 PM
RE: in memory - by brynmawr1 - 09-17-2024, 01:16 AM
RE: in memory - by Mark A Becker - 09-18-2024, 06:58 PM
RE: in memory - by Bunx - 09-17-2024, 08:24 AM
RE: two gloves - by Wjames - 09-19-2024, 11:46 PM
RE: two gloves - by Bunx - 09-20-2024, 01:43 AM
RE: two gloves - by Magpie - 09-20-2024, 02:30 PM
RE: two gloves - by Mark A Becker - 09-21-2024, 07:55 PM
RE: two gloves - by Knot - 09-20-2024, 10:52 PM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!