09-26-2024, 05:49 AM
(11-15-2022, 02:50 AM)Semicircle Wrote: My eyes are stinging,
sleep will take me soon.
It's my choice to rest, I could stay awake
if I wanted to. Yet I'm tired, and there is
no use in fighting anymore
as I am dragged unconscious
across the forest floor.
I think you could experiment a bit with the cadence of this to make your point really hit the reader. Is there a way to give the reader context of the fifth line, while still keeping the overall mystery within the poem? I liked the last stanza, its very evocative!
