Kite
#4
(10-04-2024, 07:20 PM)Valerie Please Wrote:  He hates her.
He hates her insolence, 
and her disrespect 
and the drama that she brings  could be implied - also keeps with the rhythm of previous lines
and he just pressed send 
on another 

another

private message
to let her know
he won’t stand for it.
She’ll see him
floating magnanimously
above her.

He feels certain
that this time
he finally found
the magic words
to control 
the wind.
Hi Valerie, I like the poem and it seems fairly sound, so not much crit in that sense.
Without the title it is a totally different poem. The title makes me think that there are two meanings at play here and it brings in the element of a predator, as in the bird of prey kite. If this is the case then 'magnanimously' seems like an odd choice of word.
It works well when I read it using kite in the sense of the craft on a string. Although now I'm thinking who is controlling the kite.
I want it to work both ways with the title.

Am I reading too much into it?
feedback award wae aye man ye radgie
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Messages In This Thread
Kite - by Valerie Please - 10-04-2024, 07:20 PM
RE: Kite - by rowens - 10-04-2024, 07:38 PM
RE: Kite - by Valerie Please - 10-04-2024, 08:04 PM
RE: Kite - by Magpie - 10-04-2024, 09:52 PM
RE: Kite - by Valerie Please - 10-05-2024, 07:26 AM
RE: Kite - by Knot - 10-05-2024, 11:17 PM



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