10-07-2024, 01:12 AM
A couple little things to consider...
(10-05-2024, 06:53 PM)Magpie Wrote: (edit 1)
Kosmos
When the fiery maple
has been extinguished and not a fan of "and" for the line break. Prefer it moved down to start next line
the milky way is draped - Milky Way should be capped - might be able to strike "is"
across the spruce and pines.
Theatres light up and
scenes of drama can be
eclipsed by a finger. up to here appears to read as one sentence. full stop after "pines" should be a comma
How many murders will
I witness this evening?
(original)
Kosmos
When the fiery maple
has been extinguished and
the milky way is draped
across towering pines.
Galaxies appear and
billions of souls can be
eclipsed by a finger.
How many murders will
I witness this evening?