10-08-2024, 12:07 PM
Between the sheets there is a scent of a different love.
Soft lip and molten tongue. You caress my ample waist (remove the period... Soft lips and a molten tongue caress my ample wasit without a grimace.)
without a grimace. Kiss with misplaced passion
and mint breath, perhaps to fog a memory of a lover?
You fold linen and launder clothes with the zeal
of a bribing child. I wonder if this love will ever slither (love this line about cellophane skin... unique)
out of its cellophane skin. You scurry in the kitchen
and lather eggs onto a plate, yellow and unctuous.
Yesterday’s dinner sits cold on the counter.
Great poem over all. I think its really encapsulates what you are going for well. I do think adding some line breaks could help flow.
Soft lip and molten tongue. You caress my ample waist (remove the period... Soft lips and a molten tongue caress my ample wasit without a grimace.)
without a grimace. Kiss with misplaced passion
and mint breath, perhaps to fog a memory of a lover?
You fold linen and launder clothes with the zeal
of a bribing child. I wonder if this love will ever slither (love this line about cellophane skin... unique)
out of its cellophane skin. You scurry in the kitchen
and lather eggs onto a plate, yellow and unctuous.
Yesterday’s dinner sits cold on the counter.
Great poem over all. I think its really encapsulates what you are going for well. I do think adding some line breaks could help flow.