10-17-2024, 03:50 AM
Hello walker-
welcome to the Pen, and hope you get plenty muddy
As regards your poem, I am left not feeling much. There is no imagery to guide me; to make me feel something.
I suggest editing the list, and imagine what the narrator hears. Since it is about NOISE, I especially need the sense of hearing to get some attention, in order to grab my attention. That said, I'll leave it to you to cut, and then flesh this one out.
Hope that was helpful,
Mark
welcome to the Pen, and hope you get plenty muddy
As regards your poem, I am left not feeling much. There is no imagery to guide me; to make me feel something.
I suggest editing the list, and imagine what the narrator hears. Since it is about NOISE, I especially need the sense of hearing to get some attention, in order to grab my attention. That said, I'll leave it to you to cut, and then flesh this one out.
Hope that was helpful,
Mark