Biology

[TrevorConway]

Hi Busker,

Thanks very much for your take on this. Great to get such feedback. 

For others: did anybody else feel this conflict between observation and commentary? Would ye remove the stanza about religious lessons? Any feedback on it from others would be helpful. Thanks very much. 

Trevor

I knew the fascination of Darwin,

spreading my book in a Sligo classroom.

The damp-aired prefab bred spores of perspective,

to peer into life on another level:

 

the functional porridge of a cell,

neurons, chlorophyll, unravelling DNA. ...'neurons' are an odd choice here. The rest are cell constituents.

I developed a fondness for liver fluke,

an admiration, even.

 

Earthworms and grass were rich cousins;

enzymes and equations hid in my breath.

And how could I ever have imagined

the humble beginnings of the horse?

 

We had forty-five minutes – no more –

to ivy our brains over these pages

that curled to soft edges, frescoed with ink,

the cryptic or crude remarks of previous owners.

 

Biology uncled an explanation

juicier than any religion.

We blindly accepted its facts,

knowing them as the fruits of study.

 

And yet, we sat through religion lessons,  ..... the 'and yet' is confusing for me. Even to a child, biology is not taught in a vacuum, but starts with what can be observed with a magnifying glass and simple or compound microscope. Not to mention the everyday interaction cell cultures and vaccines. There is no such equivalent experience in religious study. The contrast drawn between biology and religion is based on an after-the-fact value judgement and is at odds with the observational quality of the rest of the poem.  

where vague principles hung like murky pond scum,

while the sonnets and acts of an English class

led me to the cleanest page.

 

Where’s that book now?

Wrapped in the recesses

of a canvas schoolbag,

tattooed with someone else’s thoughts?

 

On its pages, fossils of a former me remain

in inky bruises and hollow phrases. ... again, 'hollow' is a confusing value judgement. Is it that the narrator never bothered to open a science textbook after the 12 years of school and is writing from that point of view?

They’d fascinate me now

more than any creature.


Thanks for any feedback ye can give, whether specific or just an overall sense of how much you did or didn't like the poem. (I can take negative feedback, and I'm used to dumping some poems that don't quite make the grade even after editing.) Pointing out any parts that are confusing or too vague would also be very helpful. Thanks very much. Trevor]

In green are some great lines
But overall, the poem has this conflict between observation and commentary that is confusing. Is the narrator meant to be a bible thumper? A fly on the wall?