01-03-2025, 03:49 AM
(12-21-2024, 12:39 PM)ton321 Wrote: Then woke to birds singing, blackbird, lark. (I feel like we are reading the middle of a poem... we are missing context. Why "then"? what did they do before...)I really loved this poem! Its a great start! I really love the theme here... the personification of inatimate objects in poetry is always something I love, if done well.
It liked the rough feel of bark on its bricks,
the way leaves fell on its lintel,
how roots grasped like hands in the dark.
Became its home. Sorrow was a thing of the past. (became its home is an odd line. Who or what are we talking about here? what became its home? the land?)
But the hunting party of lawyers were closing in.
The dogs were out in front, with wet black noses. ("The dogs were out in front"-- this line could be worked on.... Maybe, "The dogs held their vigil" or "The dogs lay poised")
They were hunting out those things that were not meant to last.

