inner dialogue

[CreamcheeseSandwich]

I really like the imagery used with the photons in this poem, along with the scientific/mathematic diction such as "cosmologically, entropic, tetratial." A piece of advice that I would give is to maintain this diction throughout the entire poem, so as not to break the overall flow or "theme" that you are trying to convey. This would refer to the line "it's fucking beautiful" which follows the verse "the world is a series of fractals contained within arbitrary bounds" It can seem jarring to randomly swear when throughout your poem you have maintained sophisticated language. I also recommend rephrasing the line "it looses its beauty that way." Is there another way that you can describe to the reader that the simplification of the world leads to a loss of beauty? You have used lots of beautiful imagery throughout this poem, so I would recommend using it at the end of the poem as well to leave a lasting emotion or "picture" that the reader can take with them.

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sometimes
when i sit beneath that autumnal sun
when it’s photons strike my skin with their speed
so cosmologically significant and so entropic yet calculated

i think about
the fact that we exist is a chance never before seen
like tetratial growth every step we take,
a factorial of every action we think of making

that the trees, unmoving, are as complex a thing as anything ever could be
the elementary particles that make it all up are ineffable in nature to us
in scale, in number

and that yet it is beautiful that we try
to understand the patterns
in the unending chaos that is

the everything
the nothings
and yet all things

that we exist inside of

and i speak these words in repeating rows of eights
through the photons running through the copper like busy lively/hectic/congested traffic (describing that traffic is "busy" is redundant, since many people know that traffic is busy). 
to the liquid crystals that shine like miniature lightbulbs

the world is a series of fractals contained within arbitrary bounds
there is chaos all the way down and it is fucking unfathomably beautiful

it doesn’t need to be simplified
it looses it’s beauty that way   (otherwise the beauty of its chaos will fade away, like the sun setting at the ends of a river) This is just an example of possible imagery that you can include in this line to paint a vivid image in the reader's head before the poem ends. 
take things as they are not as they appear
and don't give yourself up
to the attractive nature of the simple problem-solver

note from hyp - thanks to everybody that told me i need to do more imagery!! i really like this one