inner dialogue

[Mark A Becker]

it is beautiful that we try
to understand the patterns
in the unending chaos that is

Hello, and welcome hyper,

The whole poem for me is the section I show above.

When a poem is mostly tell and little show, this reader loses interest. This seems more like a lesson being taught than a poem; didactic bordering on pedantic. I want a poem to make me feel something, other than feel like I'm being lectured to.

There are many opportunities for you to explore with this one: the nature of light, description of actual fractals, the apparent fine tuning of the universe with the mind boggling precision of its constants, and more. Try harder not to miss those chances for enhancing this piece while respecting the intelligence of your readers.

Please try to make me feel something along the way.
Respectfully,
Mark