My first poem

[poetry_zealot]

Oh, the numbing spell of light

Banished by the dead of night

As the sun sets, and dark steals the sky

No haven can keep from what hunts my mind          Is hunts meant to be haunts? Either way it works.

As the blaze burns, and fades in the trees

No hope for escape from what I must feel               This line feels clunky to read because of its structure. Minor issue.

Her touch on my skin, her voice and breath

Life in their void seems not far from death             Who is "their"

A wish for the end, then hope to forget

Can't cut off these chains forged by regret

In dreams, I shall seek the warmth I once felt

To cold then wake up in tears of despair                 The continuity between this line and the line before doesn't really make much sense.

Oh, the numbing spell of light

Banished by the dead of night                            Just a personal opinion here but I think you can flip/reverse the order of the last two lines to mirror the start of your poem.

Overall, this is really good for a first poem. If only my first could've been as structured as this lol. Anyway, really nice imagery throughout the text. Perhaps experiment with breaking the poem into stanzas and terminal caesuras. Having the whole poem enjambed may cause the reader to not go at the pace you want. Also, I think you'll have a lot of fun with slant rhymes.