04-03-2025, 12:07 AM
Hello zealot-
I think this part could be omitted :
seams meld with flesh
becoming flawless scars
evidence of imaginary trials
And maybe trim this section:
a smile
my smile
the teeth are still slightly
crooked
I understand this as the N viewing a real scar as a metaphor for internal scars, and like how the final lines add a humorous twist. Still, I think less would equal more.
Also- if you wonder where everybody went, check out the thread called MILO's FORUM : 2025 NaPM, where we're writing a poem a day for National Poetry Month. I think you'd like to join in, and I hope to see you there.
... Mark
I think this part could be omitted :
seams meld with flesh
becoming flawless scars
evidence of imaginary trials
And maybe trim this section:
a smile
my smile
the teeth are still slightly
crooked
I understand this as the N viewing a real scar as a metaphor for internal scars, and like how the final lines add a humorous twist. Still, I think less would equal more.
Also- if you wonder where everybody went, check out the thread called MILO's FORUM : 2025 NaPM, where we're writing a poem a day for National Poetry Month. I think you'd like to join in, and I hope to see you there.
... Mark