04-06-2025, 09:16 AM
There are lines here that I like:
insects chant on dried pedals
and
gifting us life/in a sea of pixels.
Both evoke beautiful imagery in my head and not only that a voice that chants it like a chorus/sermon/a longing. They feel like a voice breaking into the conversation, a mind of its own not asked but forcing itself into the conversation full of nostalgia? And the more I read the poem the more I realize it feels like that throughout the whole like a call-response. Except the "Once a month...." part. That feels like a moment edged in time.
Overall, I like it. It speaks even though unspoken. Nice work.
insects chant on dried pedals
and
gifting us life/in a sea of pixels.
Both evoke beautiful imagery in my head and not only that a voice that chants it like a chorus/sermon/a longing. They feel like a voice breaking into the conversation, a mind of its own not asked but forcing itself into the conversation full of nostalgia? And the more I read the poem the more I realize it feels like that throughout the whole like a call-response. Except the "Once a month...." part. That feels like a moment edged in time.
Overall, I like it. It speaks even though unspoken. Nice work.