And the World Hastened itself towards Death

[The_system_screams]

I concur with depressedmetalhead in all words and actions to be made. I, too, love to abruptly stop a sentence just to continue it again in the next but I soon found out if it does not serve a purpose and if it does not serve a purpose it does not serve the poem. Sometimes the rhythm is there to hypnotize in longer poems and I think this is trying to do so but that requires much more delicate and controlled use of all words.
It has potential but needs to be cut and thrown out like we poets do with our favorites, unfortunately.