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#2
(04-09-2025, 09:45 PM)poetry_zealot Wrote:  It takes some courage
to walk the yellow brick road,
but more to walk back
The simplicity here is disarming, but packs a punch because of all the baggage the film has picked up over the years.  I might replace "some" with "real" in the first line, but "some" leaves open the possibility that the courage is false... so stet.  If there were a way to insert a word into the third line, making "but more to walk it back," it would open up walking back a story or narrative.  But the wording is quite spare and you've already used "It" in the first line.  So, again, stet.

Well done.  No easy suggestion for a title - maybe something that invokes walking all the way back instead of just clicking witch-slippers?
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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Messages In This Thread
Untitled - by poetry_zealot - 04-09-2025, 09:45 PM
RE: Untitled - by dukealien - 04-10-2025, 08:05 AM
RE: Untitled - by Luchoracu - 04-11-2025, 04:52 AM
RE: Untitled - by Mark A Becker - 04-12-2025, 04:50 AM
RE: Untitled - by poetry_zealot - 04-12-2025, 11:46 AM



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