04-10-2025, 08:05 AM
(04-09-2025, 09:45 PM)poetry_zealot Wrote: It takes some courageThe simplicity here is disarming, but packs a punch because of all the baggage the film has picked up over the years. I might replace "some" with "real" in the first line, but "some" leaves open the possibility that the courage is false... so stet. If there were a way to insert a word into the third line, making "but more to walk it back," it would open up walking back a story or narrative. But the wording is quite spare and you've already used "It" in the first line. So, again, stet.
to walk the yellow brick road,
but more to walk back
Well done. No easy suggestion for a title - maybe something that invokes walking all the way back instead of just clicking witch-slippers?
Non-practicing atheist

