04-12-2025, 04:50 AM
Hello zealot-
It takes some courage
to walk the yellow brick road,
but more to walk back There is no juxaposition here, only a continuation of the previous sentence. That is not how senryu/haiku work.
The syllable count is not what the form is really about. A twist, a cut, or turn is needed in the final five. That's what makes this form so difficult, yet so interesting.
That said, it is good that you do not have a title, as this form does not usually use titles. You could use the first line for that purpose, though.
Respectfully,
Mark
It takes some courage
to walk the yellow brick road,
but more to walk back There is no juxaposition here, only a continuation of the previous sentence. That is not how senryu/haiku work.
The syllable count is not what the form is really about. A twist, a cut, or turn is needed in the final five. That's what makes this form so difficult, yet so interesting.
That said, it is good that you do not have a title, as this form does not usually use titles. You could use the first line for that purpose, though.
Respectfully,
Mark