My Shattered Dreams

[dukealien]

Today is the day after the 2024 election.
Yesterday, I felt hopeful. Proud. Eager and excited.
Today, I feel discouraged. Disappointed… but not shocked.
My worst dreams came true last night.
 
North Carolina – Red
Georgia – Red
… Pennsylvania – Red
 
Hope and optimism – lost
I knew what was coming.


I have been deceived into believing the American people have changed.
They care about women, they value women,
They want us to succeed.
 
Newsflash! THEY DON’T
They never did.
 
When will there be a time where women are in power?
Power over their lives?
Power over their own bodies?
Power over the country?
 
When will people choose a capable, intelligent, deserving leader
Over a deceitful, hateful, careless man?
I spend my whole life trying to be the role model I never had
Trying to break barriers, trying to uplift others, trying to pave a way.
 
Is it even worth it if someone like him
always wins?
 
I have been deceived into believing the glass ceiling would be shattered.
Instead, my dreams are what is being shattered.

Coming to this late, and in basic critique, I can only add emphasis to what others have said about using more poetic devices and tactics.  This will seem to take you a step away from plainly stating your beliefs and sentiments, but will make it easier for those who don't entirely share them to empathize.  (Those who agree with you all down the line are sort of built-in empaths... you don't really need to write for them, do you?)

Use of free verse seems to be the way to go for political expressions (including cultural issues that have, unfortunately, become political).

So, in Basic and as technically as possible:  use shorter lines.  "...always wins?" has more impact than "I have been deceived... shattered."  Shorter lines also force you to summarize and go to the root of what you want to express; they also (little trick here) have the focal points - start and end - out where they're automatically emphasized.  Compare your "Instead, my dreams are what is being shattered" to (pardon the rewrite) "Instead, my dreams are shattered" or even "Instead, my shattered dreams."  Less is more.

There's also a danger in repeating talking points - glass ceilings, for example, approach cliche as do some of your other expressions.  Be fresh, be unexpected.  You have something to say and I, for one, would like to hear it:  I have great difficulty understanding the near-breakdown angst triggered by both the 2016 and 2024 elections without attributing it to base motives and would like to be informed or convinced otherwise.

As an experiment, count words and rewrite with, say, a third of the word count.  And be original:  you may feel powerless, but you have *total control* of what you write!