05-16-2025, 04:26 PM
(04-27-2025, 02:19 AM)Ash Wrote: A soirée where revelation stirs restless,I enjoyed reading your poem, my favorite lines being: Now this familiar taste may enter my heart,/Exceedingly smooth but egregiously tart. With that said, if you could somehow extend this rhythm over the rest of your poem, the quality of it would surely be heightened. Lines like As the words of our conversation mix with gentle scour would benefit from a light reduction in syllable length.
An invitation that can cure the listless.
Would you like some cake while the black tea steeps?
Here I enjoy the party where scrutiny seeps.
The tea is now ready to be served hot,
We wait until the last dreg leaves the teapot.
Now this familiar taste may enter my heart,
Exceedingly smooth but egregiously tart.
As the words of our conversation mix with gentle scour,
We move towards the end of the calling hour.
Before I leave I fill the cups with the last bit of tea,
For the tea at the bottom is the blackest it can be.
Great poem regardless!

