My Father

[busker]

As you with sleeping breathes,
whizzing and  so weak,
I'll come and squeeze your hands,
and imagine so restlessly,
I'll then inhale your last
inhales from your chest,
and then all of a sudden,
You & this phantom will be free.

Some of the word choices could be improved-
1. Wheezing instead of whizzing
2. Exhales from…instead of inhales from
3. “You with sleeping breathes wheezing” doesn’t make grammatical sense

I appreciate the picture you’re trying to paint