06-04-2025, 08:01 AM
I like the idea. I like the much of the execution.
But the portion from Or… to ..that’s a problem belabours the point too much. I think it’s more punchy without all that padding.
Reading it from “Egh” then skipping over to “that’s a problem…” makes the poem more cohesive and impactful
But the portion from Or… to ..that’s a problem belabours the point too much. I think it’s more punchy without all that padding.
Reading it from “Egh” then skipping over to “that’s a problem…” makes the poem more cohesive and impactful