2nd Draft: Buying Love Poetry at a Thrift Store

[brynmawr1]

“Buying Love Poetry at a Thrift Store”

Pages gone so dull
paper cuts became kisses  become, I think to keep sense of tense and sonically it seems to read better to me
that can never be,    recommend period here
and yellowed love tries   A? if following above suggestion
at not forgetting it was born   this is unnecessarily awkward.  doesn't 'at not forgetting'='remembering'?
from red,    semicolon?
while the poet is ghostly   the poet only ghostly, maybe, or 'now ghostly'
footsteps in an attic
no one cares enough
to clutter with clutter.  Not sure about this last line.  Doesn't work for me but could be a cultural reference I don't get.  My suggestion, 'to hear'.

Hi Richard,
I really like your basic premise and most of the execution.  I have made some mild suggestions above which you are certainly free to ignore.
take care,
bryn