06-28-2025, 08:20 AM
I enjoyed the first lines:
The poetry of life
Finding meaning in strife
Finding God in strife
I have to say however that after that I do not see much development in your poem. It also feels a bit abstract. I think it would help to be more specific, e.g. what sort of strife you are talking about here, or why your protagonist thinks they've been singled out.
The line
Or not, perhaps displeasure is the intention
offers an interesting "plot twist", but again, it's not developed any further.
Overall, I feel that if you only want to ask the eternal questions here, then this poem could be much shorter -- I guess in this case I would try to make it concise and catchy. Or, if you do want to explore these questions in more depth, that would be very interesting as well.
The poetry of life
Finding meaning in strife
Finding God in strife
I have to say however that after that I do not see much development in your poem. It also feels a bit abstract. I think it would help to be more specific, e.g. what sort of strife you are talking about here, or why your protagonist thinks they've been singled out.
The line
Or not, perhaps displeasure is the intention
offers an interesting "plot twist", but again, it's not developed any further.
Overall, I feel that if you only want to ask the eternal questions here, then this poem could be much shorter -- I guess in this case I would try to make it concise and catchy. Or, if you do want to explore these questions in more depth, that would be very interesting as well.