07-28-2025, 05:14 AM
This is a really nice poem, I like the internal rhymes and the title fits it very well. I think the contrast between dandelion and the spider is great and the paradoxical nature of them both is thoughtful.
I got only one suggestion for this line
"and choke others,
feeding on their life." - i thought this part could maybe flow a bit smoother, perhaps "sapping on their life" or something like that
This is my first critique so don't take it very seriously. Thanks for sharing this poem : )
I got only one suggestion for this line
"and choke others,
feeding on their life." - i thought this part could maybe flow a bit smoother, perhaps "sapping on their life" or something like that
This is my first critique so don't take it very seriously. Thanks for sharing this poem : )