Fish,Bowl,Back,To,See

[Deor Ana Log]

Hi Dior Ana Log,
Welcome to the Pen.  You need to post meaningful critique within the forum that you post before expecting meaningful feedback on your work.  Please review what constitutes meaningful critique within each forum.
Thank you,
Bryn

I am so sorry for overstepping Bryn, I have now commented on Tun's latest poem, I hope that that counts. Also purely for claification my name is DEOR Ana Log.

---

In this one there is somebody suffering but we don't know who and we don't know why, so apart from the fact that everybody in the world suffers - there is nothing here - no story, with which to create a connection between the destiny described/depicted and the destiny of the reader. There is no identifiable source of meaning in it therefore.

Tun, I appreciate you taking your time to give a critique towards my poem. However, you claim that the lack of a clear narrator is neither coherent nor constructive to my writing process. I start this poem with the word "I" meaning that it is a self reflection. Furthermore, the fictional metaphor of the drowing in a fishbowl is based in reality, yet is not intended to perfectly refect real life. To answer your question flat out - this poem is about my life as human being, not as a writer.

I did not say that there is not a narrator. I said that we know nothing about him/her, apart from the fact that they suffer.

So are you saying that you want to know more about the person I am, or you won't care about the pieces I write at all?