Fish,Bowl,Back,To,See

[tun]

I am so sorry for overstepping Bryn, I have now commented on Tun's latest poem, I hope that that counts. Also purely for claification my name is DEOR Ana Log.

---

Tun, I appreciate you taking your time to give a critique towards my poem. However, you claim that the lack of a clear narrator is neither coherent nor constructive to my writing process. I start this poem with the word "I" meaning that it is a self reflection. Furthermore, the fictional metaphor of the drowing in a fishbowl is based in reality, yet is not intended to perfectly refect real life. To answer your question flat out - this poem is about my life as human being, not as a writer.

I did not say that there is not a narrator. I said that we know nothing about him/her, apart from the fact that they suffer.

So are you saying that you want to know more about the person I am, or you won't care about the pieces I write at all?

I am saying that to me there is no story in what you have presented. It could be anybody or nobody. There is no way to connect with it because there is no sense of an individual who exists. A story is the representation of a destiny which one can participate in through the awareness of its potential to be universal. But that awareness can only arise where there is some specificity to empathize with. There is nothing to attach the attention to.