Lake House

[Deor Ana Log]

Out the glass panes
    Winds slash waves 
              on a spring lake
    The sunlight
        repelled by gloom-
              like phantoms  This is an excellent meaphor
bore by people born
                          from different worlds.

One, grown out of the soil
                  looking up
One born in the sky
                    peering down
through clouds Interesting slant rhyme

Living in shifts
          of coexistence
                wearing leather hoods 
                        to avoid each others eyes. The typeography is the most disorienting here
Terrified that they might
            see their own contempts
                          reflection.
                     
Sharp words escape
    under whispered breaths
            digging in the other’s neck
The one saving grace
      in this house on the lake WOW. Nice title inclusion
            is telling yourself
There are worse places
        to be unhappy.

While typeography is somewhat distracting, this is tight-knit poem that uses its time wisely. In my experience, writing gets more fun and overall better the more it is done. So I can't wait to see what you write after your first month! Two critiques: 1. Make this poem rhymes more (either slant or real) 2. Add 2-3 general statements to contrast with the specificity. 3. A title rework is something to this about. Thank you so much for sharing, it was quite a fun read - Deor Ana Log