ENGLISH

[Deor Ana Log]

I welled up babbling from a rainground
gurgling for my mother tongue
under skyfather blue
until I found among any-angle tangles of downstreams
a brothertongue that swelled my wordhoard.

I love the use of familial language of this first stanza

After many wave copulations
with an insult of parlances,
and an overwhelm of loquacious coinings
I became a rhythmic river
echoing and rhyming down
till I widened into Lake Lexicon.

Maybe expand on what Lake Lexicon means (is it a pun)?

There I stilled a while
for the fishing of new phrases in a lingua Franca
where scriptures of river songs
were sung and passed down
to babbling babies
to begin all again.

anaphor is used here, to a majorly postive effect!

This done
my current carried barges burdened with
tomes, testaments, letters and et ceteras
in a joyful Babel
till clogged up and bogged down in an estuary of low tidings,
chatbot verbiage, emoticons and whatever
I dragged
all down
to where all was
merged
mingled
and
petered out
into
an English sea.

The form of the poem looks like dragging, which expertly is matching with the content. Try to experiment with this elsewhere in the poem.

Then on the incoming tide,
A bottle with a message in it.
One day someone will find it and say:
Look what I found: let me read it to you:
“I welled up babbling from a rainground …..

Try to use quotes at the begginning of the poem as well, to make the narrative circular.

Thank you for sharing- Deor Ana Log