I Sink Irony

[wasellajam]

Hi, Deor, I've read this so many times I guess it's time to say that for me it never gels. Some notes below.

we could’ve flown away Soared or so light weight as to disappear?
My heart sinks for the lack of cliche, awkward phrasing, weak break.
pregnant pause infertility, abortion, lack of anticipation?
And yours forgets like today is fictitious interesting phrasing but in the end I can't tie this in.
So I am done with pretending, irony I'm not a fan of "irony" just hanging out here, I'm guessing the two actors have switched emotional positions but I'd like the poem to say that on its own.
no more asking please
Dressing up your cares
Like I don't want you naked
This love was lost for one
Not two was too much A lost relationship is lost by both, the narrator is arguing that here?
And you still wave, just not enough
And my hairline aches for the time I lost I get so much time passing balding is involved but I think thats wrong.
counting flowers for you
like it was fate instead of a fairy tale "counting flowers" is vague (maybe a specific flower?) but this line is lovely and clear.
I know in real life
We still had a friendship
Until my lifeboat sunk The lifeboat seems separate from the relationship, has the poem explained what it is and I missed it?
Now we are wilted flowers cliche
my hair wings when I wake up Novel but awkward
we drowned anyway
and I am okay

So, I know I am repeating myself but once again the erratic capitalization and lack of punctuations leaves me working much harder than what for me is enjoyable in a poem and I still don't get there. I get a past relationship, views of it have changed. It may be me but the I and You never firmly hold their places, sorry I can't be of more constructive, I hope this helps in some way.
Thanks for posting.