falling for your bluff.

[JohnS]

falling for your bluff.

my descent arose
in the dive i made falling for you.
the further i fell,
the less of myself i held onto.

ribs strained to make room
for rancour i’d accrue.
naïvely praying someday,
my rest would soon ensue.

but through it all, you threw
all debris on me to bear.
every added ounce
left me further frayed with wear.

rifts and tears flayed the place
my heart used to be.
severed from the sleeve
that anchored me to the belief

that one day, the pain would pay off,
and the games you’d play
would wither away,
and i could finally stay off

the edge of this bluff
i’d hung so high from.
this hill i’d willingly die on.

mounted close to commune
with clouds we’d lain under,
i was now left to wonder
whether they’d extend the grace
of saving me at all.

at last, began to grasp
the cranes in our sky
only heightened my fall.

and you’d have the gall
to just watch me unravel.

i held on for our life, my dear.
yet still wallow in the gravel
of your grave mistakes.

[i have never written a poem before but i've been going through it lately lol and i ended up writing this, feedback would be greatly appreciated ]

---

falling for your bluff.

my descent arose
in the dive i made falling for you.
the further i fell,
the less of myself i held onto.

ribs strained to make room
for rancour i never outgrew.
naïvely praying someday,
my rest would ring due.

but through it all, you threw all
burdens on me to bear.
every added ounce
left me more worn with wear.

rifts and tears were left
where my heart used to be.
severed from the sleeve
that anchored me

to the belief
that one day, the pain would pay off,
and the games you'd play
would wither away,
and i could finally stay off

the edge of this bluff
i'd hung so high from.
this hill i'd willingly die on.

now mounted close to commune
with clouds we had laid under,
i was left to wonder
whether they'd extend the grace
of saving me at all.

at last, began to grasp
the cranes in our sky
would only deepen my fall.

and you'd have the gall to just watch it unravel.

i held on for our life, my dear.
yet still wallow in the gravel 
of your grave mistakes. 

Hi,
I'm late to this one, and you already have some good feedback, so I'll be brief. 
The first four stanzas read like four verses from a song with an xaxa rhyme pattern. It then morphs into a poem and gets better for it. 
I, too, am a lyricist turning my hand to poetry and one of the things that I'm learning is that a song is sung and a poem isn't - lyrics are slave to the melody. This makes a huge difference to how you provide information, tell a story. I think in a poem you can be very precise in few words, whereas in a song you are always looking to maintain the verse format and this leads to irrelevancies and repetition creeping in.
I now realise a song is not a poem set to music, it's words set to music. A poem's a poem.

Just thought I'd share some observations, good luck with your writing.