Yesterday, 07:06 AM
now while a piece about being high, presumably written *while* high, also being unpolished is kinda appropos....
would recommend punctuating throughout.
more importantly, "Then go and sleep it *off* and rest"
that line also suggests to me that this could be more metrical, maybe have it be firmly in iambs (so "My heart is pounding in my chest", "I see my thoughts: they come and go", etc). though this might also demand some rearranging of lines
would recommend punctuating throughout.
more importantly, "Then go and sleep it *off* and rest"
that line also suggests to me that this could be more metrical, maybe have it be firmly in iambs (so "My heart is pounding in my chest", "I see my thoughts: they come and go", etc). though this might also demand some rearranging of lines