Yesterday, 08:53 PM
Eden’s Sky
Edit 1.0 (Bryn)
In Eden,
bodies never age.
Clouds never move
in Eden’s sky, where you and I
won’t change, nor love in time
grow strange.
Original
Rich Brown wrote the piece that inspired this one.
Three lines are straight from it.
I’ve punctuated differently in the first 3 lines, which changes the emphasis slightly
An experiment
The RB poem:
https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-2732...#pid280274
Edit 1.0 (Bryn)
In Eden,
bodies never age.
Clouds never move
in Eden’s sky, where you and I
won’t change, nor love in time
grow strange.
Original
Rich Brown wrote the piece that inspired this one.
Three lines are straight from it.
I’ve punctuated differently in the first 3 lines, which changes the emphasis slightly
An experiment
The RB poem:
https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-2732...#pid280274

