Just keep sailing...

[matsunosuperfan]

Just keep sailing...

I’ve never liked smiling,
always thought I looked odd,
like a rippled reflection of myself. 

But recently,
the skin around my eyes crinkle
into origami boats.

My lips are sails,
unfurled to the corners of my face,
and my teeth slip out in every wave of smiles. 

It’s involuntary—
the joy that sparks inside me
scuds through my nerves
until it erupts into laughter.

Perhaps we are already sailing into something better. 

(I've honestly never written a poem before so I'm still very bad at this. I love reading poetry so I'm hoping to better my writing skills. Please give me any and every criticism you have <3)

Helluva first poem! You should be proud. You've got a convincing conceit, and you execute it well. There's not much cliche or received language (ok, "sparks joy" but otherwise p good - "origami boats" is a really striking metaphor). Stuff like "my teeth slip out in every wave of smiles" shows a confidence with language-making that should be applauded and encouraged. I applaud and encourage you! 

Think what this poem could use more than anything is more authorial confidence. For instance, here is an off-the-cuff try at a demo with more narrative force/declarative confidence:

I don't like smiling. It makes me look
odd, a rippled reflection 
of myself. But recently,

the skin around my eyes
crinkles
into origami boats. My lips

are sails, unfurled to the corners
of my face. Off-white teeth
slip out in every wave that grins

despite myself. Joy finds me 
unwilling, scuds through nerves
until some scrap of light erupts, 

and then I find no reason
looking out on my own thin horizon  
not to go on sailing.
--

idk that's probably still a pretty weak/prosaic-adjacent ending, but some kind of cohesive gesture seems like the right move to me.