On Phatic Speech

[dukealien]

On Phatic Speech   a term I hadn't encountered - infield chatter off the field, as it were (and now I'll forget it)

Small talk deserves more
hate. It grows around the ribs nice little twist
like cancer, always some dull pressure to be satisfied  pick "always' or "some dull," not both?
with less. Oh, it’s a beautiful day. The sun
is shining. Birds are singing. Yes, Suzanne, & what I’d like  the Leonard Cohen song comes to mind...
to know is, how is this my fault?

I bumped into my ex of seven years
while shopping for a blender. He said, you haven’t aged
a day. I said, I’m shopping for a blender.  brings to mind a mixer, as in social meet-and-greet
We were never quite in love, and I suspect
he knew this, which makes him
the bigger man. But at least  "bigger" is attention-getting - greater, more forgiving, more sensitive?
I won the rematch.  match being with the, um, attractive sex?  Nice ambiguities.

Seven years from now, my father will lie
back in his shrill hospice bed and ask about the hummingbirds.  "shrill" is another wild word - alarms?  needs oil on the joints?  or just the very loud idea of being in (terminal) hospice care?
Have they been visiting the feeder, it rained cats  at this point I remembered what the poem was supposedly about - nice sneak there
& dogs last week you know. He can’t remember if he changed
their water. And I will do my duty, I will watch the only man
I ever loved lock eyes with death  excellent buildup...
and summarize the news.  and perfect letdown.

I liked this quite a bit.  The overt theme (dislike of small-talk) and under-theme (it's a wall against love, or at least expressing it) and final confession (the absence of love is the problem, not the small talk) are well drawn; I can sympathize (especially about the hummingbirds).

In mild critique, there are several words which stand out as unexpected and significant (see above).  Could there be more?  Maybe not - one per stanza seems about right.  There could be a little more flowing rhythm than there is (see suggestion on l.3) but, again, the slight jerkiness is suitable for a speaker breathing hard, actually making small talk about what bothers the speaker very much but can't be directly addressed.

Personally, I'd like it to flow easier to make the read more pleasing, but can see the utility of disharmony here.

Concerning the hummingbirds, specifically:  this is subtle,  hummingbird fluid does go bad (especially in hot weather).  Indicating that the father's either been in hospice only a short time, or is mind-wandering over what he thinks is important; same with the dogs' water.  Nicely drawn without compromising ambiguity.  And all this detail lets the reader forget that this is all, strictly, a vision or foreshadowing ("seven years from now, my father will").