Overthought

[TheProlificPoet]

Hi! Long time no see. I haven't been here in a while, but I was hoping to get some critique/revision on this piece....  Im going to go read some of your pieces and share some thoughts! I hope you all have been well.

Overthought 

There will come a day
when life tires of you.
The great abandonment
that leaves you on the other side,
alone.

Go with your middle finger high,
cheeks pulled wide
as its back turns.

You prepared for this
through philosophers’ words,
dog-eared books and 
circled proverbs,
hours spent
trying to outthink
what would never spare you.

Aren’t you glad?

I like the poem.The emotional core is compelling, but the poem often explains its meaning instead of allowing the reader to discover it. The strongest moments are the concrete, unexpected images ("life tires of you," "middle finger high"). When you arrive at the philosophical passages, consider replacing explanation with specific details or images that imply the same idea. Trust the reader to make the connection. The less you interpret your own poem, the more room you leave for the reader to participate. Cheers
I like the poem. The emotional core is compelling, but the poem often explains its meaning instead of allowing the reader to discover it. The strongest moments are the concrete, unexpected images ("life tires of you," "middle finger high"). When you arrive at the philosophical passages, consider replacing explanation with specific details or images that imply the same idea. Trust the reader to make the connection. The less you interpret your own poem, the more room you leave for the reader to participate. After attempting a test revision, the poem did quite well by simply removing lines. Cheers.