Yesterday, 01:52 PM
(07-28-2026, 01:08 PM)RiverNotch Wrote: Thanks for the feedback. I suppose when I come back to this I'd have to use a more modern-sounding form (and I'm determined to use a form, since at the moment I believe that sort of restraint will encourage creativity---I imagine accentual meter, rather than a strict pentameter, will do), but the "costume" aspect of it was fun to write.I am not sure what form this is - if it is a form, it is one I don't recognize. I do notice the meter randomly varying between 4 and 5 feet and sometimes slipping into blank verse. Either way, I don't think it is the form that is giving it an issue so much as the convoluted phrasing - any of this should be able to be trimmed and rewritten to sound more natural in whatever form this is supposed to be.