A Sketch

[RiverNotch]

Thanks again for the feedback.

RE milo, Wait, really? The only variations from "strict" IP in the first chunk are initial trochaic inversions (very common, eg 'Batter my heart three person'd God' or 'Now is the winter of our discontent') and feminine endings.

RE both milo and dukealien, Elia should be read e-li-ya, stress always on the first and sometimes also on the third---in retrospect putting it in the second syllable is standard, so I might edit this accordingly. I don't see where Anna should be read other than normal.

Thanks for the feedback. I suppose when I come back to this I'd have to use a more modern-sounding form (and I'm determined to use a form, since at the moment I believe that sort of restraint will encourage creativity---I imagine accentual meter, rather than a strict pentameter, will do), but the "costume" aspect of it was fun to write.

I am not sure what form this is - if it is a form, it is one I don't recognize.  I do notice the meter randomly varying between 4 and 5 feet and sometimes slipping into blank verse.  Either way, I don't think it is the form that is giving it an issue so much as the convoluted phrasing - any of this should be able to be trimmed and rewritten to sound more natural in whatever form this is supposed to be.

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Altered some lines to use the more standard pronunciation "e-LI-ya" or "e-LYE-ya".