Opposition
#2
(Yesterday, 05:59 AM)dukealien Wrote:  Opposition


For things to fit
there must be opposites–
not interlocked at first
but ground away at worst:
screw threads oppose
wood yields as steel embeds.
Imperfect, hidden cavities rejoice,
float gravities on lubricants
oil can:
graft nourishes foreign limbs
to flourish, flower, fruit–
old root, one stem
one life pro tem
happily hereafter
all one sap.
Very neatly woven. Perhaps too much so; some variety of sentence structure would be welcome, and while there is finally some complication (the last 4 lines) of the initial ideological impulse, I wouldn't mind more of that. Interesting how we start off rhyming and then say nvm.

(Yesterday, 05:59 AM)dukealien Wrote:  Opposition


For things to fit
there must be opposites–
not interlocked at first
but ground away at worst:
screw threads oppose
wood yields as steel embeds.
Imperfect, hidden cavities rejoice,
float gravities on lubricants
oil can:
graft nourishes foreign limbs
to flourish, flower, fruit–
old root, one stem
one life pro tem
happily hereafter
all one sap.
Very neatly woven. Perhaps too much so; some variety of sentence structure would be welcome, and while there is finally some complication (the last 4 lines) of the initial ideological impulse, I wouldn't mind more of that. Interesting how we start off rhyming and then say nvm.
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Messages In This Thread
Opposition - by dukealien - Yesterday, 05:59 AM
RE: Opposition - by matsunosuperfan - Yesterday, 11:16 AM
RE: Opposition - by dukealien - 5 hours ago



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