Yesterday, 11:16 AM
(Yesterday, 05:59 AM)dukealien Wrote: OppositionVery neatly woven. Perhaps too much so; some variety of sentence structure would be welcome, and while there is finally some complication (the last 4 lines) of the initial ideological impulse, I wouldn't mind more of that. Interesting how we start off rhyming and then say nvm.
For things to fit
there must be opposites–
not interlocked at first
but ground away at worst:
screw threads oppose
wood yields as steel embeds.
Imperfect, hidden cavities rejoice,
float gravities on lubricants
oil can:
graft nourishes foreign limbs
to flourish, flower, fruit–
old root, one stem
one life pro tem
happily hereafter
all one sap.
(Yesterday, 05:59 AM)dukealien Wrote: OppositionVery neatly woven. Perhaps too much so; some variety of sentence structure would be welcome, and while there is finally some complication (the last 4 lines) of the initial ideological impulse, I wouldn't mind more of that. Interesting how we start off rhyming and then say nvm.
For things to fit
there must be opposites–
not interlocked at first
but ground away at worst:
screw threads oppose
wood yields as steel embeds.
Imperfect, hidden cavities rejoice,
float gravities on lubricants
oil can:
graft nourishes foreign limbs
to flourish, flower, fruit–
old root, one stem
one life pro tem
happily hereafter
all one sap.

