Opposition

[matsunosuperfan]

Opposition


For things to fit
there must be opposites–  compelling hook, natural vernacular and syntax, pithy declarative. good stuff. 


not interlocked at first
but ground away at worst:  feels forced into rhyme. "at first" and "at worst" neither a natural contrast nor one that rewards longer rumination, from where I sit. "ground away at worst"? so what would "at best" be... not ground away? Things can only fit if the worst possible outcome is being, eventually, ground away? Poem is already becoming too "puzzle-y" and obscure for its own sake. 


screw threads oppose
wood yields as steel embeds.  I dislike this syntax. Very poem-y. Ugly and distracting. Trying too hard to do poem-y stuff. 


Imperfect, hidden cavities rejoice,
float gravities on lubricants
oil can:                                     more unattractive syntax, poem feels like a riddle, I am now annoyed

graft nourishes foreign limbs
to flourish,                                  the worst bit of the distasteful syntax, "flourish" is an annoying word seemingly used in earnest, you've lost me

flower, fruit–
old root, one stem
one life pro tem
happily hereafter
all one sap.                                maybe this could be interesting, I can't really tell and I have lost any motivation to "figure out what it means." It does sound like it may be a boring summative ending, can't be sure.