Sea, Swallow me

[piscui]

This hits real hard. I feel like with a poem like this it is good to know what kind of critique you're looking for. With the lack of proper structure, and capitalization you going for an expressive approach which I think works very well in this poem. The last line is ropes me in "do not do". I wonder is the narrator out at sea while thinking this poem? "Do not do" alludes to present tense, they are actively choosing not / forced not too do the things. I love the length of the poem, and the tone. Using "things" twice creates mystery you could change the first "things" to "words" to keep it vague if intended.

Part of me thinks that changing the first "do" to "did" in the last stanza would make it read like "sailors regret" or maybe pirates lol.

Thanks for the read and welcome to the site

actually love the feedback, thx! changing "things" to "words" definitely makes it better