Because I once loved you there

[matsunosuperfan]

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What I found interesting about all the crits is that the line I most disliked is “love is the only foolish / adventuring we do”, wasn’t disliked all that much. And the things that I really liked, like the pirates of the Caribbean references to the ghostly ghoulish pirate clipper’s crew, didn’t land, at least on those who read it. It’s always informative to have that sort of direct reader feedback

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love is the only foolish / adventuring we do = smooth, easy in the mouth, feels like something you've heard before even if you haven't, has the ring of aphorism. surface meaning is immediately obvious, though there is still room to mine for more. 

no scraps with a ghostly, ghoulish, / pirate clipper’s crew = lumpy, a bit of a mouthful, calls attention to itself, feels like it is "trying to be poetic," lacks the ring of aphorism. surface meaning is obscure. too many modifiers. bit of a tortured metaphor by the end.