6 hours ago
Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate it. The concept of the poem is to blend/compare flock cameras with the male gaze and how humans are similar in a surreal way that they become blended and indistinguishable. Also I believe the body positivity aspect of the cars/women embracing things that are pointed out like “wrinkles(paint/skin), postpartum bodystandards, transgender women etc. I believe my error was I tried to squeeze in too many subtle cultural/literary references(sylvia plath, jane eyre, joe goldberg, big brother, alpr’s/flock cameras that are an issue in the US now but if you aren’t american it might not make as much sense or be as big of a deal. that would do a lot of the work for the reader without giving enough plain language context like take the carpenter line in the beginning (savior complex).