Peek

[Luckieman]

I get what you're trying to say and your word choice is nice, but although I recognise that this is a conversation I feel there are too many and frequent changes of person (e.g. She, I, you'd, we, within two lines). For me that disrupts the message. I also find the rhyming somewhat erratic - it might indeed be worth trying to render this without any attempt at rhyme, particularly as it's free form anyway and you've in general nicely maintained the integrity of meaning in each line (that's rare, appreciated, and should be retained IMO).

Hope this helps.