Between the pages of my heart

[Harryd]

Hi Harry - as you’ve not posted it in the critical fora I’m not sure if you’re looking for feedback to improve this piece. But I’m providing some anyway.

I like the first four lines. The flower between pressed pages is a bit of a cliche at this point, but still works. The poem meanders thereafter. The metaphor of the heart as a book that you read is not sustained from there on and it becomes a jumble of other, disparate metaphors.

Thanks for posting

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My suggestion would be for you to stick to one metaphor and develop it.

I dont have a certain writing style nor have I ever been taught. Im just grieving a past relationship and this helps me. Appreciate the critique as always.