10-07-2026, 04:20 AM
(10-06-2026, 11:59 AM)mewdacute Wrote: Something I noticed the first time I read through this was the rhythm of these lines, and the repetition of words. In particular, my attention was caught by the phrase "He likes the way it feels / to feel the life exit her body," where the natural beat while reading aloud emphasizes "feel" twice, one after another, split across lines. I thought that was beautiful.
Similar to others, I'm less clear on the overall message. I see the threads of springtime and growth mixing with toxic love and masculinity. I'm unsure what the line "Death is everywhere" adds, but I do see tones of "death" throughout the poem. I think it would be interesting to throw dystopia ruined imagery into the mix, and show a cyclic world pulled between nature's impulse to grow and the ruin (that men seem to cause, in this case). Honestly, feel free to disregard that last line -- I'm not even entirely sure where I was going with that.
Helpful feedback, thank you for reading <3