Never There - edit

[lucienne24]

Never There


What would it take to drain
all complexity from life
leaving only a driftwood cabin
by a sunny sea somewhere–
no storms, a little evening fog
and black nights crowded with
cool stars too far away to bother?

No phone, no keyboard, only screen
white sand on which to draw
with a found crab claw
bare feet finding compactness
made up of all those grains
which will obligingly erase
each verse committed to them.

And in the cabin desiccated
by salt wind, no book of psalms
or numbers, three-view plans
of objects with dimensions grown
irrelevant with long disuse
right-angles absent, pages merged
with fading ink and brushing fingertips.

Too much, it would take entirely
more absence than my breath
could stand to give up all
these hated complications loved
for regulation, knowing next
name called, address more real
than whispered sand and peace.

Inspired by an AI video

hmm... your postscript that this piece was inspired by an AI video definitely recontextualized my reading in a way that (i think) makes the poem more interesting. rather than the 3rd stanza imagery of the irregular dimensions and fading ink representing a peaceful seaside getaway long untouched by "unnecessary" human complexities, they begin to evoke an AI-generated image of an abstract, unattainable place. if this was your intention, i'd want this imagery to come in sooner and be more consistent. i also agree with matsuno's reply that the whole piece could use more immediacy and less "explanation."