If God had meant man to fly
#2
(2 hours ago)purplie Wrote:  If God had meant man to fly …. Good opening. Holds my attention 
He would have made some people level-headed 
    And some people batty 
    And some just reckless fools …. Nice. I’m drawn into S2

If God had meant man to fly …. I don’t like the repetition here.
He would have made high sea-cliffs without rails 
    Rivers falling into dim mist 
    Rocky peaks for no reason 
    And the urge to jump … excellent 

He would have made priests who thought they knew God … “he would have made” is too many words. Lose it?
    And heretics who thought the priests didn't … “the priests didn’t” is again, too many words 
    And a few people quiet enough 
    To hear them both 

And we would be squinting at the sky
Because He would have set the reflection … “would / would” ugh
    Of His unbearable face in the high noon
    Invented color for the sake of evening 
    Whirled sparks and orreries through the night …. Gorgeous 

If God had meant man to fly 
He would have imagined trees 
    And bird nests 
    And birds 
    And dawn 
    And then He would have taught the birds to sing…..lose “he would have”
It’s a beautiful poem that would gain from losing some of the loose ends
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RE: If God had meant man to fly - by busker - 1 hour ago



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