hangnail

[matsunosuperfan]

cool leather seating

sits polished

reflecting buzzing streetlamps
in satin finish

bugs zip past your eye, intent
on unseen light

and two gazes
meet

your eyes dart quickly to your
hidden thumbs, and

tears threaten to overflow
your eyelids

tempting as the hangnail is,
you know better

than to try and
rip it out

You might ask yourself why this deserves such a short line - does "sits polished" hold up as a two word phrase in the spotlight? How about "and two gazes" or "your eyelids" or "meet"?

I think this draft is using a short line for no compelling formal reason. Here it is with less insistent brevity: 

cool leather seating sits polished, reflecting 
buzzing streetlamps in satin finish
bugs zip past your eye, intent on unseen light

two gazes meet

your eyes dart quickly to your hidden thumbs
tears threaten to overflow your eyelids
tempting as the hangnail is, you know 

better than to try 
and rip it out
--

That's already a lot more readable to me, and loses the annoying sense of "poet is trying really hard to be artsy." Not every other word deserves emphasis.